im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
