But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
