I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
