im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
