our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
