Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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