I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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