are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
