Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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