i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
