Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
