ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
