like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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