hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
