non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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