Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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