Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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