Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
