I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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