Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
