thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
