i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
