Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
