I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
