And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
