this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
