yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My pussy is not your playground.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
