it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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