I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
