She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
