My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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