Moan for me like Helen Keller
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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