I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
