she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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