Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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