am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
