My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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