k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
