At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
