Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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