He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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