dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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