Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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