I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
