dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
