I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
time to smoke my breakfast
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
