my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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