The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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