I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
