I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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