Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
